After a long wait to find the life partner, it takes time to get to know each other. When this stage also ends, the time for the wedding is set, and finally, after all the preparations, the day comes when the spouses are among their guests, all of them expressing the best wishes. In such festive atmosphere and wedding party gifts, several couples begin married life with rosy expectations. It is a completely new life, and they conceive that it will always be full of tenderness, understanding and joy. For a certain number of days or weeks, this may also be the case, but then, little by little, things start to change. The husband and the wife find between them differences of mentality and customs, possible problems of temper and flaws of character that they did not know previously. It is a bitter surprise, a disappointment, and a possible cause of perplexity and mutual indifference.
It is a sensitive situation, which people face in different ways. Some begin to become pessimistic about the future, and aim at such weaknesses, without considering their own shortcomings. Others see the negative traits of the spouse so much without considering that he or she also has very positive abilities. Is it possible to find solutions while we only see the flaw of the other and do not consider that we also have our weakness and need understanding? The Spirit of Prophecy writes:
“This is a most critical period in their experience. The happiness and usefulness of their whole future life depend upon their taking a right course now. Often they discern in each other unsuspected weaknesses and defects; but the hearts that love has united will discern excellencies also heretofore unknown. Let all seek to discover the excellencies rather thanthedefects. Often itisour own attitude,the atmosphere that surrounds ourselves, which determines what will be revealed to us in another.” The Ministry of Healing, p. 360
“If your dispositions are not congenial, would it not be for the glory of God for you to change these dispositions?” The Adventist Home, p. 345
“You must both study how you can assimilate, instead of differing, with one another.... The use of mild, gentle methods will make a surprising difference in your lives.” The Adventist Home, p. 345
By Antonino Di Franca
