In cases not less painful than the above are those in which husband or wife break the marriage vow and betray the spouse. Problems like this or even worse happened in Israel even in biblical times. The prophet Malachi appealed to the hearts of these people when he wrote: "... the Lord hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. For the Lord, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the Lord of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.” Malachi 2:14-16
The heart breaks when this happens among people who have not given their lives to the Lord, but it is a tragedy and bleeding of the heart if temptation blinds the spiritual eyes of a member of God’s family, causing moral damage to himself, to the church, and great suffering for the spouse and children.
Those who profess to belong to the people of God and to “keep all of God’s commandments; therefore, if they indulge in sin, if they commit... adultery, Sister White writes, their crime is of tenfold greater magnitude than is that of the classes I have named, who do not acknowledge the law of God as binding upon them. In a peculiar sense do those who profess to keep God’s law dishonor Him and reproach the truth by transgressing its precepts.” Testimonies for the Church, vol. 2, p. 450.
It is our wish and prayer that nobody falls at this point, but if, unfortunately, someone, husband or wife, has been overcome by temptation, that they humble themselves before God, that they repent of their sin with pain and sorrow, and confess their sin, without trying to justify or assume an attitude of finding flawsin others. If the guilty repents with all his heart and gives evidence of his repentance, there is hope of forgiveness: “The time has come when Jerusalem is being searched as with lighted candles. God is at work investigating character, weighing moral worth, and pronouncing decisions on individual cases. It may not be too late for those who have sinned to be zealous and repent; “for godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of...” Testimonies to Ministers and Gospel Workers, p. 448
Jesus forgave the repentant woman who had been caught in the act and the Jews were ready to stone her, "When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee?She said, No my, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more." John 8:10-11. He did not continue to accuse and condemn her, but He worked to heal the wound, just as the spouses should act in such cases to help the person recover.
“This was to her the beginning of a new life, a life of purity and peace, devoted to God. In the uplifting of this fallen soul, Jesus performed a greater miracle than in healing the most grievous physical disease; He cured the spiritual malady which is unto death everlasting.Thispenitent woman became oneofHis most steadfast followers. With self-sacrificing love and devotion she showed her gratitude for His forgiving mercy. For this erring woman the world had only contempt and scorn, but the Sinless One pitied her weakness and reached to her a helping hand...
“Jesus knows the circumstances of every soul. The greater the sinner’s guilt, the more he needs the Saviour. His heart of divine love and sympathy is drawn out most of all for the one who is the most hopelessly entangled in the snares of the enemy. With His own blood He has signed the emancipation papers of the race.” The Ministry of Healing, p. 89
Sometimes, especially in critical circumstances, we reveal the attitude of blaming repeatedly for the mistake the other party made, but this is not spiritual help. A testimony says that, "A conscience once violated is greatly weakened. It needs the strength of constant watchfulness and unceasing prayer." (Testimony Treasures, vol. 1, p. 199). Therefore, spouses, help their partner in this healing process, do not open the wound over and over again, but start a new experience with the help of the Lord with a spirit of forgiveness and love.
“Determine to be all that it is possible to be to each other. Continue the early attentions. In every way encourage each other in fighting the battles of life. Study to advance the happiness of each other. Let there be mutual love, mutual forbearance. Then marriage, instead of being the end of love, will be as it were the very beginning of love. The warmth of true friendship, the love that binds heart to heart, is a foretaste of the joys of heaven.” The Adventist Home, p. 106
By Antonino Di Franca
