What is Communication?
Communication is a primary social process that includes the transmission of information, ideas, beliefs, feelings, suggestions or orders between two or more people, using a form of language as a tool for integration, instruction, exchange and development.
In the family context, communication problems are focused on the error of thinking that communication is just a dialog of emotions. But it is not! Communication is a dialog of words which express feelings and emotions. It must be said that communication is the art of meeting, and I agree with that thought.
The following episode is recorded in Genesis 3:8-12, "And they heard the voice of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day: and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God amongst the trees of the garden. And the Lord God called unto Adam, and said unto him, Where art thou? And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself.And he said, Who told thee that thou wast naked? Hast thou eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not eat?And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat."
One of the classic examples of communication is the one God established with man after the fall, when he became interested in his situation and started a dialog with him.
In the field of communication there are several levels, one of them is the SUPERFICIAL conversation – e.g. "How are you doing?", "How is everything going?" This type of conversation gets to the edge of insignificance, although it may be better than embarrassing silence. By remaining in that condition, communication in marriage becomes superficial and mechanical, and it may be marked by resentment and frustration.
Another level of communication is the one of IDEAS AND OPINIONS. Here true intimacy begins because in this area there is a greater openness to express one's own thoughts, feelings and opinions. Here there is more freedom of expression to verbalize ideas, giving your spouse the opportunity to know him/her better in their intimacy.
On a third level of communication are FEELINGS AND DISCERNMENTS. Here feelings of frustration or happiness are expressed. It is here where experiences are honestly shared and interest is shown in their feelings and expressions. At this level the relationship will be enriched and expanded. You will feel valued, noticed, loved, appreciated, and secure in your spouse's affection. There will be precious moments of understanding and emotional satisfaction. Mutual participation of personal ideas and feelings is the ultimate expression in marital communication. At which level of communication is your marriage? Do you see the need for a more honest and profound communication in your marriage?
By Adalício Fontes - Portugal
