“It is the little attentions, the numerous small incidents and simple courtesies of life, that make up the sum of life's happiness; and it is the neglect of kindly, encouraging, affectionate words, and the little courtesies of life, which helps compose the sum of life's wretchedness.... A house with love in it, where love is expressed in words and looks and deeds, is a place where angels love to manifest their presence and hallow the scene by rays of light from glory. There the humble household duties have a charm in them. None of life's duties will be unpleasant to your wife under such circumstances. She will perform them with cheerfulness of spirit and will be like a sunbeam to all around her...” The Christian Home, page 109
The time we dedicate to our family is of the utmost importance, this helps us to know our children, our wife and it also helps them know us. This makes family communication more united. Any time we spend together will result in a great blessing. At this precise moment, as I write this topic, my youngest son who is seven-year-old arrives and interrupts me, asking me to play with him. I was about to say: "I'm busy writing an important article that I have to finish, and I do not have time to play with you right now".But I reflect for a moment, and I decide to play with him for a few minutes. After sharing a few moments with him playing, my child was happy that I dedicated some time with him. Unfortunately, sometimes this is not always the case.
A household that spends time with the family, and that makes it a priority, will always be a family enriched by unity and happiness. It's sad to say, but that's the way it is, there is almost no time for the family to strengthen its bonds of sociability and companionship. This is due to the tight schedules. This is one of the claims in current marriages. Let's ask ourselves, is this a correct or fair claim? How can I have better contact with such a busy husband? The lack of time shared as a family can become a serious problem. In these situations, they may end up feeling rejected, because as they perceive it, they must insist to be able to spend time together. But, after struggling for a time without success, they can resort to developing their own world, activities and circle of friends totally outside the family. Then the relationship begins to deteriorate more and more. Then they will not try anymore. There is simply no interest. When marriages cease to be a source of interest, they begin to lose mutual emotional needs, and reach a state of family apathy, which can eventually trigger, even divorce. This is Satan's plan. That is why today we have such a serious marital crisis. Welfare, peace and happiness in the home are extremely important elements for our existence. Consider the following recommendations that can contribute to peace, happiness and marriage enrichment:
- Do not try to change your spouse, instead you should try to change yourself first.
- Marriage is a good place to develop tact, understanding and tolerance. We all have a definite personality and we are so different in various aspects in relation to our character and temperament. We must apply the golden rule, which is "love and live in harmony", despite our differences.
- Practice empathy. Empathy is the intention to understand the feelings and emotions of others. In other words, it is placing ourselves in the other’s shoes.
- Demonstrate that you appreciate the good qualities of your spouse and children. Encouragement, motivation and congratulations are key aspects for harmony and peace in the home.
- Use frequent dialogue. Family communication is very essential.
Support and collaborate in household duties (husband and children).
Also remember the little details daily.In our homes we should not forget these simple, but important words: thank you and please.
Finally, I would like to close by saying that the great love of God must be the first and the greatest element in the home. "Beloved, let us love one another; because love is from God. Everyone who loves, is born of God, and knows God. He who does not love, has not known God, for God is love."(1 John 4: 7, 8) May the Lord help us to make good use of time, and thus enrich our marriage every day!
By Ciro Arévalo
